


Organic Courtship

by Nitrobot



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alley Sex, F/M, I really wanted to write somehting with flamewar in it cause she is so important to me, Semi-Public Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 21:41:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2403884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was hard enough hiding the fact your service vehicle was secretly a malevolent robot from outer space from the police chief, and even harder putting up with it when it wouldn’t shut up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Organic Courtship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spadey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spadey/gifts).



> I don't really know how it happened, but I ended up shipping Barricade and Flamewar and this was a result of that. Sullivan and Sephora both belong to spadey (rodimust on tumblr) and are humanised versions of TFA Soundwave and Slipstream respectively, but they can be viewed as just normal humans here.

“Next time, I’m just leaving you at the station.”

_“You said that last time, Sullivan. And last time, and last time...”_

Sullivan fell back onto the headrest of his seat and sighed, clenching his hands hard on the wheel. It was hard enough hiding the fact your service vehicle was secretly a malevolent robot from outer space from the police chief, and even harder putting up with it when it wouldn’t shut up. He couldn’t just turn off his radio, not when he could have a dispatch coming in to save him from the traffic at any moment. Nor could he roll any windows down to stave off the heat sticking his clothes to his skin, not when Barricade would hurl insults at anything that looked even vaguely like an ‘Autobot’. 

_“Just let me put the sirens on and we’d be moving in less than a nanoklick-“_

__“No.” _Each time Sullivan had to repeat it his teeth seemed to grit harder- it was a miracle he hadn’t ground them down to stumps by now. The purring engine suddenly snarled from Barricade’s frustration.__ _

____“Leave it to me to get stuck with the most boring specimen this planet has to offer.”_ Sullivan didn’t care enough about what the robot thought to defend himself, instead sighing again through his gritted teeth and melting in his uniform. _ _ _

___Apart from the honking horns and passenger seat curses muffled worlds away, there was only silence between mech and man for a long while._ _ _

___Until the road lane beside them shifted down ever so slightly, and the icy idling engine erupted into a hungry rev._ _ _

____“Well, well, what do we have here...?”_ _ _ _

___Sullivan raised an eyebrow and leaned over the empty passenger seat, trying to see over the static shield of traffic. “What is it? Something suspicious?”_ _ _

___Barricade growled from his engine again, and static burst over the radio before his words transmitted through it. _“It’s suspicious how fine that motorcycle looks from here.”__ _ _

___Now Sullivan’s eyebrows were in very real danger of lifting off of his face, and he stared at the car dashboard as if it had grown eyes. “You actually think _other vehicles_ are attractive?”_ _ _

____“Not just_ any _vehicle, human._ ” Now the growl had found its way into Barricade’s own voice. _“She’s a Decepticon- high ranking, at that.”__ _ _

___“And you can tell by just looking?” Sullivan may not have been a certified expert on alien technology, but he was pretty sure even the robot he was sat in hadn’t yet evolved omni-vision._ _ _

____“Cybertronian EM fields are very distinct, and she has a Decepticon registered spark signature,”_ the mech explained, making the driver’s wheel twitch in Sullivan’s grip from impatience at not being allowed closer. Sulli just sighed and tried to find what exactly had gotten his partner so worked up. _ _ _

___It wasn’t too hard; not many motorcycles had flames all over the gas tank and a purple seat under such a lovely rear-_ _ _

___Well, at least he and Barricade could now both agree on something- both cycle and owner were magnificent. Heeled boots dug hard into the foot pegs and stray whisps of coal hair fell out from under her helmet, slim body encased in leather posed with perfect precision over her vehicle. Part of him wondered if she knew she was riding an alien, but the rest of him was more preoccupied with studying all the curves available._ _ _

____“You like her human companion,”_ Barricade noted, jerking Sullivan from his trance and making him slam the car horn in shock. _ _ _

___“Of course I do,” he admitted with a shrug, immediately turning to stare all over again as the rider readjusted herself, shifting her seating so that he could practically hear the leather rubbing together._ _ _

____“Then pull her over and we can both try and charm the dear ladies.”_ _ _ _

___“One, that’s creepy. Two, that’s abuse of police power.”_ _ _

____“You didn’t seem so concerned when you gave that one driver a ticket for going through an amber stoplight-“_  
“That was personal. That guy was a dick.” More and more every day Sullivan regretted teaching Barricade about Earth road rules. “Why can’t _you_ talk to the motorcycle? Don’t you both have communication systems or something?”_ _ _

____“I don’t have her comm frequency, so that isn’t an option. Although...”_ _ _ _

___“Oh, no.” ‘Regret’ seemed to be the main theme of things today as Sullivan dreaded whatever Barricade was going to come out with._ _ _

___As it happened, what he came out with almost deafened him and gained him a fair few enemies in angry rush hour commuters as Barricade blared out a series of seemingly random horn honks of varying pitch. Sullivan assumed it was some kind of special audio modifier the mech had built in, when he’d finally recovered and the ringing in his ears faded somewhat._ _ _

___“Yep, okay, never do that again.” Barricade only laughed at Sullivan’s loud declaration echoing throughout his interior._ _ _

____“I just said the equivalent of ‘single, ready to frag and mingle’ in Cybertronian Primex. If she’s interested, she’ll be off the road in less than five nanoklicks.”_ _ _ _

___Sulli’s budding scepticism wasn’t given a chance to grow as, just as the mech predicted, the objects of both their attentions suddenly leapt forward and swerved between two packed lanes of traffic, almost knocking off side-mirrors and weaving through the angry fists waving from open windows._ _ _

___“What the hell...?” His head was already pounding from the residual effects of Barricade’s courtship call and the stifling head; his newfound confusion didn’t make things any better. As for his partner, he could practically see a grin just from his voice.  
 _“She wants me to chase her. ‘Con femmes always do like to play hard-to-get.”__ _ _

___Before Sullivan could go anywhere near the brakes, Barricade slammed down on the accelerator with enough force to throw the human back in his seat. The sound of sirens surrounded his aching head, robbing him of any will to try and stop the mad mech.  
Or maybe that was the thought of finally catching up to the leather lady who got him into this mess. _ _ _

___ _

___**Xx** _ _ _

___ _

___“You sure he was cute?”_ _ _

___“I’m not sure what passes as ‘cute’ for humans, but he seemed like the type you like to look at in magazines.”  
Sephora’s head whipped upwards at the femme towering beside her with wide eyes. “Hey, you aren’t supposed to watch me when-!”_ _ _

___“There’s a lot of things I’m not supposed to do, hun.” Edges of fangs poked over Flamewar’s lips, like they always did when she was feeling playful. “I’m not supposed to make unauthorised contact with other lifeforms, I’m not supposed to ally with humans, and I’m certainly not supposed to lure poor mechs on chases through hostile alien planets in a desperate attempt for my valve.” She shrugged with her servos crossed over her flame-branded chestplates. “But, here we are anyway.”_ _ _

___Seph rolled her eyes as she tried to morph her hair out of its forced helmet-shape. “Just... as long as he’s cute. Then I’ll say it was worth almost losing my head.”_ _ _

___It was about a minute later when a squeal of tires, fading cry of sirens and the shift of a transformation cog announced the arrival of their pursuers, one skidding to a halt in the sheltered alley on balanced peds and another rolling on the concrete as he was unceremoniously ejected from the front seat. He coughed in a cloud of grit and, with Sephora taking his arm, rose shakily to his feet and brushed down his uniform._ _ _

___He wasn’t cute._ _ _

___He was hot._ _ _

___Oh _god_ , he was hot._ _ _

___And from the sudden leap of fire in the femme’s optics, Flamewar though much of the same of her suitor as well._ _ _

___“Took you long enough to catch up,” she quipped as purple plating shifted into position on the mech’s servos. He was smirking at her long before he finished transforming, violet optics centred on the painted flames lapping at her chestplates. At least his partner, from what Seph could see, was trying to be more subtle in his glances over to her as he blinked dust from his eyes.  
“Traffic is a lot easier to get around on Cybertron,” Barricade explained. The femme raised an optic ridge at the out of place purr in his voice- not that she didn’t like the sound of it. “And what would your designation be, babe?”_ _ _

___“Flamewar.” She wasn’t shy about giving him a long look over herself, with her attention specifically centered on his thick codpiece. “One of Megatron’s own command circle during the war.”_ _ _

___“Barricade.” He moved closer to her with no small amount of pride in his stance. “Part of Megatron’s Special Ops hunter programs. So, we fragging or what?”_ _ _

___“Aaand that’s our cue to fuck off.” Sephora didn’t give the stranger beside her any warning before grabbing his shirt and hauling him down a splinter alley from the soon-to-be robot mating ground._ _ _

___The next half hour was awkward, to say the least._ _ _

___She found out the hot guy’s name was Sullivan, and his police uniform was enough of a clue to what his job was. He got stuck with Barricade a few months back, when what he thought was his usual work car started talking to him through dispatch. Sephora gave her own story about how the prettiest motorcycle she ever stole turned out to be the only one with a mouth that wouldn’t shut up. That was about all the conversation they managed before something like a cat being strangled, metal scraping on a chalkboard and an extremely scratched record erupted and persisted in the air, effectively making any further attempts at speaking pointless._ _ _

___It took about another five minutes of her eardrums being mangled for Seph to realise that, yes, listening to her dumbass motorcycle getting fucked was turning her on. Not the proudest moment of her life. Her infrequent glances over to Sullivan as he kicked at the ground didn’t help the matter at all._ _ _

___“They sound like they’re having fun...” Seph noted during a brief lull in the cybernetic moans. Sullivan made a small nod, seemingly unable to look at her for more than a few seconds as he tried to hide the red all over his face (at least his beard hid the worst of it). If he was getting this flustered over just listening to robot sex, then Seph didn’t have much hope for him being partial to fucking in the middle of an alleyway, where just about anyone could walk in on them or-_ _ _

___Dammit, that was just turning her on even more; she could feel her panties soaked between her crossed legs and her body cooking under all her leather layers._ _ _

___Well, it wasn’t fair for the bots to have all the fun of the day, and it wasn’t like the mood could possibly be more awkward than it already was. Seph cleared her throat, inched closer to Sullivan as much as the dampness in her groin would allow, and tried to say as if she was asking the time of day;_ _ _

___“You think... we could have some of our own here?”_ _ _

___Sullivan’s expression of pure discomfort froze into something unrecognisable, and she could practically hear cogs in his head (though the cogs in Barricade’s hips slamming against Flamewar’s were undoubtedly louder) turning slowly as his gaze flicked over to her._ _ _

___“You... think we should have sex?” He was considering it. That alone was much more than anything Seph was expecting in response, so she tried to keep her nod small to not scare the poor guy off._ _ _

___The kiss that then shoved her against the brick alley wall was certainly also not an anticipated response._ _ _

___The enthusiastic echoes of clanging metal and snarling engines covered up any moans that might have given them away to passers –by (assuming they were put off from investigating by the louder noises reminiscent of a broken bandsaw going through a speaker), so Seph had no reason to hold back. It didn’t take much effort for Sulli to get into the horny spirit as well, grunting as he grinded her against the wall and tried to find the zipper of her tight pants. She’d already undone the button of his slacks and squeezed at the hardening bulge underneath them, making him moan even more against her mouth. His fingers finally found their way inside her panties and diving into her wet core. She bucked into his palm and whimpered against his lips as she tried to hook her legs around his waist, shoving his face into her neck with her hand curled in his nest of ashy hair. His stubble scraped against her just as her back scraped against the bricks, the only thing keeping her upright the extraordinary strength in Sulli’s arms. There was still a thumb rubbing hard into her tingling clit when his fingers were finally replaced with his cock, shoving fast inside her and pinning her arched back to the wall._ _ _

___“Tell me you want it, Seph...” He almost sounded like his robot partner, a harsh growl replacing his soft voice that made her moan just from the sound of it._ _ _

___“Yes, yes, oh god...harder, fuck me harder, Sulli...!” He answered Seph’s panted pleas with a succession of forceful thrusts into her hips, nipping her neck with every push. He couldn’t help but grin against her skin when he felt her spasming around him, eyes rolling and mouth slack from a wave of pleasure that disabled any sense she had left in her mind. It had been a long while since he’d had any experience with intimacy so his own orgasm followed shortly after, his mind blanking for a long moment as he came. His eyelids flickered as the adrenaline coursing through him faded, and he had to shift position slightly to keep Seph propped against the wall and hooked around his lap. Their foreheads bumped gently together as their pleasure-heavy breaths mingled, weary eyes staring into each other._ _ _

___“That was...”_ _ _

____“Gross.”_ Sullivan almost dropped her then and there as the unmistakable revulsion in Flamewar’s voice shot through the heady mood between them. Both their heads whirled to face the robots standing at the second entrance to the alley, both with wide optics and curdled faceplates. Barricade in particular looked like he was about to upchuck something. _ _ _

___“Humans are so disgusting...” he muttered as Seph and Sulli hurriedly redressed themselves, trying to wipe off any unfortunate stains on their clothes. Seph in particular had to worry about the back of her jacket being scuffed upon recognition from the bricks, but she had to argue that, in the end, the repair bill was worth it._ _ _

___Sullivan would have shared the sentiment if he didn’t notice something very stark on Barricade’s framework._ _ _

___“’Cade, are those... yellow paint marks?” Not only was the chief going to yell at him for slacking patrol duty, now he had to explain why his vehicle was scarred with the remains of a very eventful afternoon. Coupled with the fact he be leaving Seph behind, he wasn’t looking forward to the ride back._ _ _

___Seph noticing her own ride’s damage wasn’t nearly so calm._ _ _

___“FLAME, I SPENT FOUR FUCKING HOURS ON YOUR PAINT JOB AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME?!”_ _ _


End file.
